My temprament and things that have had their impact

The earliest incidents that I remember, which I think, had an impact on the way I think is, the one that involves a lady from my neighborhood. I was very young, and went to my neighbor's house. This lady, whom I will call Seal for anonymity, asked me for a favor as to go to a shop to buy something and bring to her. What that thing was, I do not remember but I remember it was quite trivial. I denied. At that point, Seal ridiculed me saying how dare I say "no" to her? Her voice was as if I had committed a grave sin. Well at that time, I was utterly confused as to what did I do wrong in saying "no". But the way she reacted, made me feel guilty. It made saying "no" a very difficult thing for me after that. I started to kind of saying "yes" to almost any request after that from almost anybody, which I now feel was a wrong thing. I started having difficulty in expressing a disagreement with anybody.

Another incident that I remember, made me cautious about my health. I was in 8th class I far as I remember. I was walking with another friend of mine. I was short tempered then. I do not remember, what happened, but I pushed him a bit and he pushed me back. I fell some 5 feet back. I kind of was a little shocked at his strength and my weakness. I decided that I will get strong physically from then onwards. Since then I started doing exercises daily for half an hour. That changed a lot. In about 6 months, I became strong enough that I could easily upset a boy of senior class in a arm wrestling. That boosted my confidence and I stopped getting involved in physical brawls.

Well I used to be loose tempered in my child hood. As I worked on my body to get strong, almost at that time only, i also started working on my mind, not to loose temper and was soon so calm that many things that were outrageous for most of my class mates, were not making me feel angry. But later in my life, I feel, there are some points where you need to show anger as a genuine reaction. That is necessary otherwise you tend to keep your frustrations to yourself and than pent up emotions normally come out in misproportionate manner.